In the last few days I have had a lot of time to contemplate death, and boy am I still terrified.
It’s the kind of thing that I can be going about my day and then I will feel so overwhelmed by the idea of death that it stops me in my tracks.
Some days I feel at peace with the idea but most often I am paralyzed with fear.
Although I consider myself spiritual and have always believed in reincarnation there is a fear in my rational mind that says what if it just ends.
And then I try to contemplate nothingness and my brain cannot comprehend it.
Sometimes I get to thinking that at least through the children I may one day have I can live on through them, and then I wonder if my children will be just as scared as I am of death and should I even have them at all sparring them the dread.
I am amazed by people who have faith and can with all certainty tell me they believe in an afterlife, but I am not so sure.
And if this is all there is maybe I should do more with the time I have.
1 comment:
First of all, your new blog layout is beautiful. I really like it.
More importantly, however, I want you to know that I know there is life after death. You have absolutely no reason to be afraid of death or dying. Death is not an end - it is just a change. It's how we will get from part of our lives to the next. I know that you know this too - that's why you cannot comprehend the idea of nothingness. If you're going to spare your children of anything, spare them of things like pickles and celery. Don't rob them of life - and don't rob yourself of the chance to know them in this life. They are, after all, yours forever.
Still, knowing this, I also know that whatever we learn and do here will come with us to the next part of our lives. So rather than be paralyzed by fear or do more because you're afraid there won't be any more - do more so you can have that in the life to come.
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