Monday, May 18, 2009

I don’t do vomit…

So remember I said I took Friday off work? I did and it was a very nice day with the Empress and a very nice evening which included dinner and a movie with some of the usual gang.

After the movie which ended at around 1:30am i had a feeling that I should swing by my parent’s house. My mom was in Miami and my dad had decided to extend his trip to Cincinnati.  The boys had told me that they were cooking dinner with a friend, when I walked into the kitchen the house was dark and quiet and there was a mess of dirty pots and pans and dishes but nothing alarming. And then upon further inspection of the kitchen I found a pink cell phone, earrings, flip flops and a girl’s purse. Shit.

I went upstairs and found that the light was on in the hallway bathroom and someone had been in the “man cave” the futon was open and there was a box of condoms. There was also another pink phone and another purse. Shit again.

I walked into B’s room (the younger of my two brothers) and tried to wake him up, he started talking to me incoherently but I though nothing of it because he was a sleep. the only light I had was my cell phone and the hallway light but I noticed something weird on his face “B did you throw up?” “yeah in the back yard”

I walked through the connecting bathroom into my other brother’s room, OMG he’s in bed with a blond. Thankfully he has a shirt on. “K wake up” I slapped his face, pinched his arm and did everything I could to wake him up. K is the soundest sleeper I know and every morning is a hassle to get him out of bed. A walked back to B’s room through the bathroom and by this time Russ has turned on the light. Shit shit shit!!!

B had thrown up in his bed. And was not only covered in it, so was his pillow that he was laying on and the bed was soaked though. Now for anyone who knows me you would know that I DON’T DO VOMIT…well this time I did.

By this time J (K’s friend I don’t like, who had been in the bathroom with the other girl) comes into the hallway and I ask him to take B and put him in the shower. I stripped the bed and went downstairs to put the stuff in the washer.

Meanwhile B takes his shower and then lays down naked on his wet mattress and goes back to bed. I had to ask K, Russ, and J to move him to the futon in the “man cave” and put a trash can near him.

I eventually went home sometime after 3am and realized I had left my cell. Russ and I got back in the car. We decided that we should probably sleep at the house anyway. When I got to the house the kids were now sitting around the kitchen table eating leftovers from dinner. I switched the laundry, found my phone and laid down in my parents bed with Russ. I could not sleep but Russ was out almost immediately. I got up and finished the laundry and washed up the dishes. When I finally went to bed it was 5am.

When I woke up in the morning I kept think of the song “Oh what a night”

 

3 comments:

Emmers said...

god that makes me happy to not have little brothers. sorry about the vomit...and the condoms too.

Little Sarita said...

You are a MUCH better person than I am. I totally would have kicked BOTH of their posteriors.

Oh, and I would've let them wake up in their vomit-crusted bed.

Miss Malbec said...

well it's over now. i bought B new pillows and all is well. he also had the talking to of his life so it should not happen again.